2011 Unfinished

I told myself 2011 was going to be a Johnson & Johnson year
What I meant is there were to be "no more tears"
I guess I should have included the hope of "no more fears"
As I think about it, I was really asking for "no more cares"
But I care too much.....fear too much
And I loved beyond his ability to reciprocate that much
That means I loved beyond his means
The result was a bunch of scattered dreams,
Over-grown emotions clothed in apathy: tattered seams.
Would be best to leave but hard to see that really happening
Even with so little left to burn he's still playing with matches
I throw blame: but he never catches it; barely reacts to it
Reason and Rationality cloaked as friends banging on my common sense, but I turn my back to it
...and get back to it.

2012 Unfinished

I don't think I ever woke up next to you and felt safe
Fuzzy from the smoking and the drinking, sore and satisfied from the sex?  Yes
Like your arms could block out the rain, protect me from pain, keep me in that zone? No.
Clarity always brings regret
So I spend endless strokes trying to forget.
Intense moments of happiness where I laugh and we kiss and I know something very close to bliss
You're a firework, so full of energy and color but after that *CLAP,* the moment is over and it's back to black