Power

Damn baby...
You can just fuck me like that?
Make the chills run from my neck to the small of my back?
I used to fight this kind of love, but now I just relax
Now I just react -
Like the way a body naturally moves to the pounding of drums (boom-clack, boom-boom-clack)
This is bedroom music and you got the remix on repeat
How many times in one night can I reach new limits before you put me to sleep?
One...two...three...four...
Damn baby I can't take anymore
My confession breaks your intensity and you knowingly smile...
You whisper "yes you can" and I know you're gonna be in it for a while
I brace myself for the continuous flow of familiar pleasures
Back against the bed, legs up above my head he's taking extreme measures
I've begun to give in and not squirm so much
Been since college that in an hour I'd learn so much
You grab my ass and pull me up so only my head is touching the sheets
You never stop the rythm of the stroke and I'm in disbelief...
My eyes roll back as you reach the wall most never knew was there
First a tap, then a knock, now you're banging loud and clear
I roll my hips into your thrusts and I feel myself leaking
My eyes roll so far back I see what I'm thinking
Now my legs are shaking in reaction to the walls you're breaking
My body's torn between desire and exhaustion but I'm moving with no caution
You spread my legs wide and...holy shit you're in me deeper
Lean down and kiss me slow helping me to breathe in deeper
You're stroke is sending my body in a frenzy but your love is calming me down
And I'm two steps from heaven but 3 feet off the ground
You use sex as a weapon and you're killing me softly as it flows
I die in your arms like Shakespeare meant in his prose
I'm sure I'm not the first you've put in this hearse
But how many have put your actions to verse
So many flaws but so many perfections
So much beauty from so many erections
So much pleasure silencing so many questions
So much purpose but not many intentions
I can't recall how the seconds turned to minutes and then hours
But you're amazing and I'm gazing thinking "no one man should have all this power"

Beauty and the Beast

We spend every day remaking the hood version of beauty and the beast
But we're both kinda fly so its more like calamity and the peace.
They say you are the bull in my china shop
But there's no red to mess up your head so instead of charging you just huff a lot...
...and puff a lot.

Staring in my eyes you're calm
But outside distractions always bring the threat of your storm
I tell you to focus and I move slow
People warning me you're wild and untamed like I don't already know...
Like I don't already have a few scars on a few parts of my heart
Every time I think "this is how it ends," you're like "nah, this is how it restarts"
I get it.
And I see clearly how I might soon regret it.
But they don't feel nearly how much we connected
Or how we need barely a kiss to be tempted
So I end it and you mend it and we begin it again
The outside gets smaller and the bond gets stronger between lover and friend
Or am I simply in love with healing?
If so these wounds I'm feeling
Might as well be self inflicted since addiction is the reason I'm not leaving..

No.
I entertained the thought until I felt your heart - that's why I won't go.
I see beyond the mess and the stress to the part of you most don't know
It's the light I love, and while most see darkness to me you always glow

You're no bull; just more concerned with what you could than what you should
And I am not interested in being compared to rows of fragile goods
I am far from delicate in nature or composition
My reactions based not just on facts but on intuition
And my vision
I see far beyond my beauty and your beast
I see past this calamity...and into our peace.

FML

He said "Forget My Lies," like I can just rewind time
I said "Forgive Me Leaving," like I've made up my mind
He says "Face Me, Love," because my back is turned to his advances
I ask "Fight My Logic?" because I hate second chances
He suggests "Follow My Lead," and I feel my heart stir again
I plead "Free My Love!" like I'm bound by an invisible chain
He begs "Feel My Love," and now my heart is beating fast
I offer "Find Me Later?" so he can first remove his past
He whispers "Find My Lips" and moves closer to my body
I say "Fuck My Life" and give in because he's got me

Remembering

I can remember my heart was recovering from it's first shattering
And you were something that quieted my brain's chattering
You came by, all smiles and we spent time once again
I wonder if you knew that us being just friends was about to end;
We were one embrace from change;
And yet, none of it felt strange
You looked to me for that familiar hug at my door
Lost myself inside your arms and couldn't ignore it anymore.
Your gaze told me you knew this was bound to happen
Put your lips on my lips and ignited a new kind of passion
One I had never experienced before;
One I'd remember and crave forever more

I can remember you driving 300 miles
Bringing me presents and kisses and love through the night
We were secret lovers; you stole my lips, I stole your heart
Like magnets not much could keep us apart
We used to laugh and walk through campus speaking of music and each other
We'd crack jokes and discuss hopes of one future, but ended up in another

I can remember when we'd argue, years into our bliss
I'd feel neglected or you'd need space or I was just being a bitch
Either way you'd call and apologize,
Sometimes bring me roses to ensure my smile
Maybe I didn't show my appreciation, but I was grateful you were my mine
I tried to show you whenever you and I had our alone time

I can remember road trips down to Virgina's shore
We damn near bought out the liquor store
But ended up crashing side by side in drunken bliss
Ending the night with nothing more than a kiss
That's ok we needed nights where we just enjoyed each other's company
We had PLENTY of moments where we enjoyed each other physically
From a quickie on top of your car right in the middle of the street
To 3 hour sessions sexin with R.Kelly on repeat

I can remember music holding secrets that still only we know
Christion telling me to just leave my love and take off my clothes
Art of Noise giving us moments after we did 4 play 3 times
I'm not saying you were perfect, but at your best you were mine
Now I know we've both grown and we're probably better off
But if you wanna know how I felt it's just like that, and etcetera, etcetera...

I can remember it ending, but not because the love wasn't there
But we were young, and our problems too heavy a load to bare
Life changing decisions made in the presence of fear
For a while I would use a smile to cover the tracks of tears
We said goodbye but the energy kept drawing us together
So the next few years were spent mimicking the weather
Hot, cold, wet, dry,
Cool and clear or volatile.

I can remember when I knew we were really done
Years later and still wondered if you were the one
But I was holding on to some version of a different life
We'd grown apart and that's not wrong, even if it's also not right
Our separate paths cross again and again
You're not a stranger, lover, or friend
You're the evolution of someone I once belonged to
A memory faded into the background of a song I knew

I find myself humming it every now and again
But it doesn't sound the same to me now, as it did then.

"Raindrops keep falling on my head...." 

Track 2

I'm falling in love with how he speaks to me through music that he plays for me
Intentions amplified with the meaning in the lyrics and the melody
We're silent and I'm driving; these songs are getting at the best of me
Takes my hand to his lips and lets a kiss get at the rest of me
This is his personal contradiction to the way he lives his life:
Flagrantly single; he should be beckoning the anti-wife
But I'm anti-trife, so I'm letting it flow;
The shit he did last week to piss me off, I'm letting it go
He changes the song but keeps the mood steady and controlled
Now I hear the words in his heart that he keeps untold
I slow down and turn to him to let him know I'm listening
He knods his head in silence as the song is finishing.
His eyes (unlike his words) never lie or make promises he can't maintain
But they tell me at this moment I'm the reason he's sane
A little tipsy, I'm tempted to say something kinda crazy
But I know it's just the situation making me hazy
So I refrain, the song changes, he continues the theme of love
Still I know it's just a theory and not the theme of us
He thinks I'm in it for the sex,
I think he's in it 'til the next
So we're cautious to avoid having to live with regrets -
He kisses my hand again, I guess he felt me moving away
Which is funny because I really only wanted to stay
This time he lets his lips linger just above my skin
Between the music and his energy I want to give in
I want to give all
I want to be able to fall
If I need anything I want it to be him that I call

Hard For Me To Write These Words

I write what I'm feeling and what I'm living
What I'm needing and what I'm missing
I write the words you somehow couldn't say
Or at the very least you couldn't figure out a way
So I take the emotions you feel and give them a voice
I do it like I never really had a choice...

Still, it's hard to write these words...
Afraid that some of you might figure out the nouns and connect them to the verbs...
Connect the voice to the source of my laughter
Connect the face with my prose about the mornings after
My presumed sexuality on display for your voyeuristic needs
Your assumptions blur my fictions with my realities

I shouldn't really care.
Doing this makes me feel like I exist here.
Like the part of me that's dormant during my 9 to 5
Finally gets to prove that it too is alive
That my life isn't a monotonous transition from home to work to play
That my world is made up of more than the hours in this day
I exist beyond the physical matter and the parts of me you see
I am a part of some vision you have yet to dream,
Or I'm a part of some past experience you've remembered to forget
Then my words give that feeling new life and you forget to regret
Because you know somewhere someone is sharing that load
How can I connect with a memory you know is yours alone?
That's what these words are to me
A way to express empathy

I write what I'm dreaming of and hoping for
I write when I've given too much or when I'm owing more
I write when I'm lacking and feeling nothing at all
I write when I'm angry because he forgot to call...
I write about his kisses making me weak
I write about him sexing me until I forget how to speak
I write about the confusion of love and the need for lust
I write about the want for security when there's a lack of trust

But I hope I'm writing your thoughts when you're searching for closure
I hope they reach you when you're on earth but Hell seems closer
I hope they make you realize your unique pain is actually pretty plain
And that trying to be normal is actually pretty fucking insane.

I'll take the storms along with the sun to gain appreciation for both
Knowing the extremes is what keeps giving this poetry growth
And maybe that's a metaphor for the things I've put my heart through and the reasons why
But at least it's just as easy for me to smile as it is for me to cry

That may be a lie...

But...I'm working on it through words
Figuring out the nouns and connecting them with verbs
So as I glide my fingers easily over these keys;
And as your eyes greedily devour what I feed
We're both connected in this moment through a trail of my needs and wants
To me that's worth the nakedness I feel when you're consuming my thoughts

Balance

He makes me happy when I'm mad, tho he's the source of my woe
But the balance is amazing like Kanye's girls on their toes
And I could run away but really just how far could I go?
I take two steps and he yells out "but I'm a part of your soul"
I turn around, meet his gaze and defiantly yell back "so?"
His smiling response is "I just like telling you what you already know"
I would hit him but it's pointless 'cause he's used to pain
I would cry but he's immune because he's used to the rain
So I laugh and disarm him with my ability to stay sane
(This is no easy task when you're playing his game)
The reality of it is, I'm a woman he would love to love
And he's a man I would love to give all the above
But we're just too busy with other versions of ourselves
That we manage to forget to feel what we felt...
Does that make sense? It's like we're planning to someday be in love
But I'm busy from today until the fourth of next month
And he's got that thing he's gotta do with those people from before
So we're back to having one foot in and one foot out of the door
I tell him what I need and he tells me what he's able to give
I tell him how I see, he tells me how he's able to live
And I'm able to forgive, but he's impossible to forget
The frustration powerful but short lived and so is the regret
Before you know it we're back to making each other laugh
And that thing that made me cry is just a part of our past
Just a part of our story
Just a part of our song
The melancholy melody I sing when I'm alone
Which is more often than you'd think with all this poetry I write
But I don't need quantity when the quality of passion is right
Which is funny because honestly I'm not even his type
Over-thick, over-confident, and OVER being contrite
And I'm not into all this drama over being his wife
Like the chics that's into fighting just to be in his life
But I digress, all I'm saying is he's amazing to know
And if the highs don't outweigh, they at least equal the lows
I hope I always have his kind of energy beside me
Even if its in the soul of a different love that finds me
Being "with" him has proven that life has yet to define me
And the hurt I've felt from before is definitely behind me
Otherwise I wouldn't be able to feel the way I feel
Or give so much of myself even when there's nothing to receive
I'd be too scared of getting hurt to let in this kind of uncertainty
Focus only on who he was instead of encouraging who he can be
And maybe he can't be, maybe there's no such thing as change
Maybe me throwing caution to the wind is kind of strange
But he makes me feel the blood moving from my heart to my thighs
And for now that's worth every single low on the way to every single high.